Monday, May 22, 2017

time....

Time marches on.  Time has passed.  Time after time.  Time.
After a while, the word doesn't mean anything.

But it does to me.

He has gone.  Things are very good.  I feel that I shouldn't be enjoying life quite so much right now, but it simply is so much better.

I no longer feel unwanted, ugly, lonely and sad.  I no longer have to tiptoe around his feelings; make sure everything is just the way he wants it.

I'm back to being my own person again.

I have regrets.  I regret the day that he ever came into where I worked (with his wife).  I regret that I dated a married man (though he said he was divorcing).  I regret that I didn't listen to my heart, and chose the right things.  I regret the day that I met him, 32 years ago.  But I won't spend another moment in regret over him.

One thing I don't regret was knowing his children.  I love them.  They are confused and sad and probably angry right now.  That's okay.  They are wonderful.  I don't regret a single moment with any of them.  He used to berate their mother and grandmother.  He used to put them down and say horrible things.  I'm here to say, those ladies must have done something well.  Those kids are amazing and I'll love them forever.

So, so long Mister.  I have nothing left for you.  You've cost me too much.  But I have learned.  Wisdom is pricey; worth it.