Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Understanding family

So, I've always wondered why my children, who were raised in the same house, could turn out to be SO different.  Even in my childhood family, none of us were alike.  I read an article in Thriving Family magazine, that helped shed some light for me, so I thought maybe it would be helpful to some of you in understanding your own children, and even yourself.

Birth order characteristics aren't set in stone.  Understanding the basics, though can help  in marriage, sibling and parental relationships.  Let's break these traits down:

First born:  Because they have more parental expectations that other children, they are perfectionistic leaders and well organized.  They take life very seriously and focus on the details.  They are often critical of themselves and others, because their expectations are so high.

(Take all these traits to the extreme, and you'll have an only child).

Middle born:  These lovely people, are used to being over looked, so they tend to keep their true feelings to themselves.  They are excellent negotiators of peace.  Their focus is on friendships and they are extremely loyal.  They are independent and can be secretive,

Last born:  People oriented and the center of attention, last born's are affectionate and impulsive. They want their own way and usually get it, as they are great manipulators.  They carry fun with them wherever they go, and life is not too serious.

As stated before,all these characteristics may not apply to every situation. But, hmmm....I've found that almost each trait is true in some way or another to my own children.  But wait, did I really over look my middle child so much?  :(   Did I expect more from my first than I should have?  Was I not tough enough on my last?  I quickly realized that looking into this could bring about lots of questions and those yucky guilt feelings for what I may or may not have done while parenting.  So no, let's not do that!  Instead, my wish that you, as readers, is to take this information for what it's worth, to help you understand yourself and others, and anticipate reactions and how best to love others.  I am the last born, however I wasn't always raised with my siblings.  I am most definitely a perfectionist but also like people a lot.  I'm a mixed up mut!.  So now I'll wrap up this post and the perfectionist in me will ask you to please forgive my run on sentences!!!   Happy Tuesday!!

X Grammy Rose O

Lehman, K. (2015, February/March). When birth orders collide. Thriving Family, pp. 35-38.